Busting at the seams...

Wow two posts in one day, after no posts for 2 months!

So this will be about the ponies. I have started Pickles on the Succeed program because she is a cribber and I want to make sure that it doesn’t adversely affect her health and I also want to eliminate any possibility of gastric upset or stress due to the cribbing. It is really expensive but I am already starting to see small signs of improvement so I can’t wait to see after 60 days because it has only been 2 weeks! I actually really rode Pickles for the first time on Sunday in probably the past year! She was fantastic. I got her tacked up and she looked at me like I was smoking crack. I don’t think she has had a saddle on since September. We worked on getting in a frame and some lateral work at the walk and trot and she was great.

Lily was another story. Boy was she full of piss and vinegar. Granted there was a lot going on and I have really ridden her in a couple of months but she acted a darn fool. There was a kid jumping on a trampoline that scared her, and then there were a couple two stroke motocross bikes going around and a horse loading on a trailer but this is stuff that goes on at the farm every day, so it shouldn’t be a huge deal. Well she thought it was and came up once. I got off and scolder her and sent her to the round pen. She cut flips and bucked and reared and acted like a rodeo bronc for about 5 minutes. Then she realized how out of shape she was stopped and looked at me like okay I’m done I will be good now. I hopped back on and she was amazing. Got nice and soft and round and did some great work!

Monday comes around and Keith and I head to the barn. He is getting more comfortable with the big girls so I handed him Pickles halter and said figure it out she is yours for the night. He watched me put Lily’s on and Pickles stood quiet as she could while he carefully out her nose into it and then cautiously slipped it over her ears. We groomed for about 20 minutes and then I got on Lily and he hand walked Pickles in the indoor. I got done with Lily and he cooled her off while I did some ground work with Miss Picks. Girls were both superstars especially Pickles. She is so patient and calm with Keith as he learns everything from picking feet to lunging. It also doesn’t hurt that he is always armed with plenty of cookies J

All in all, day by day, the future is looking bright. Not just for me but for my friends and family. Every day is a new start and a chance to learn from the days before. Mending fences and overcoming obstacles are to be seen as positives and I am going to try and live by that from this point forward!

Life not ponies....

So I was using this as a blog for my ponies but I think I need it more for an outlet for my life. There comes a point when you take a look back at the bridges you have burned and you sit back and wonder why. Well in my case I realize the bridges I burned never had a single thing to do with the people I burned them with. I am SUPER passive aggressive and take my problems out on people that have nothing to do with what is really going on. And there lies the problem….

Yes I am almost 30 years old but I still have trouble with conflict and bad news. I don’t know why I can’t suck it up and just be a grown up sometimes but I try to sugar coat everything or avoid the situation all together. Well it has bitten me in the butt so many times there are teeth marks everywhere.

I realized the past 4 years of my life have been a whirlwind of emotions, failures, successes and a lot of bs. I pushed the people that were closest to me away because I was unhappy with my life but I refused to change anything. So I ruined the parts that were good because I was trying to fix the part that was always going to be broken. I took my anger and frustration out on wonderful, kind people who genuinely care about me and broke friendships to the point that they will never be the same.

I still am frustrated because there are two sides to every story and to hear about the other person’s side trashing you and telling outright lies hurts even though you have physically moved on.  I guess I always wanted people to still like me after I sorted through my personal relationship but I am so bad at holding grudges for no reason I don’t think they will ever recover. I am at the point of trying to reach out and mend fences but then part of me just says move forward and on and leave the past in the past. Because with one of my burned bridges my past is still there….

I wish I could start with a clean slate and just pretend everything is hunky dory. I am realizing I have great opportunities and healthier relationships but there is still a tiny bit of guilt or sadness that keeps my stomach in knots. That I have lost friends because of something that had nothing to do with them. So as each day passes maybe things will get a little easier, maybe the tension will lift a little more and one day I can look back and see it as a learning experience rather than a bad mistake.